I wish i was in the wii world.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
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