So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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