At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
