i don't like sucking hair
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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