Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
