Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Randomize
