ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
