Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
