just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
