I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
In America we eat man semen.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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