I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
