I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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