the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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