i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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