Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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