Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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