You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
now i know why i became what i already was.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
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