I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
