Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
