i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
