i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
