hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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