i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
