I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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