Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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