she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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