it's too hot outside to masturbate.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize