I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
