you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
