Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
