i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
i want to swaddle you in tequila
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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