I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
