So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
We got so high we made milksteak
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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