Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
