Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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