Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
