Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
