I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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