I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
