Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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