someone owes me an orgasm
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
