I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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