ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
