then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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