Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
