Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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