i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
