Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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