Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
