Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize