"it" just moved
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Randomize
