i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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