Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
