his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
