I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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