Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
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