His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
