You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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