so that wasnt chicken after all
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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