Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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