Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
You are a genius and a whore.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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