just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
