I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize