just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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