I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
