The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
